Monday, May 23, 2005

Top Ten Flirting Tips !!

You don't have to look like Jennifer Anniston or Brad Pitt to make the guys (or girls) go gaga.
All you need is your fabulous smile and a few surefire flirting tips like the ones you'll find below to attract the opposite sex like paparazzi to a movie star.

For women, the key is to look approachable enough for men to feel comfortable in taking a risk.
For men, the secret is in showcasing your masculinity. (And no, that doesn't mean adjusting yourself or proving once and for all that you are the Belching King.)

1) Lock Eyes

Lock eyes with the person you're flirting with for a full five to six seconds, then smile and drop your gaze. Don't stare a hole through the guy's forehead for goodness sake, just give him a smoldering come-hither look and look away. Do this at least three times in a ten to fifteen-minute period. Why? Your target needs to know it's them you're flirting with, and eye contact is a universal signal of openness.

2) Smile

Smiling is absolutely the most effective tool in your flirting toolbox. Psychology and body language experts agree that one of the most important things you can do to make yourself more attractive (and approachable) is to smile. Not a giant plastic used car salesman smile, just your normal "I'm having a great time and I'm happy to be here" face will do the trick. According to body language expert Patti Wood, "the smile is the international signal of friendliness." Guys, if you lock eyes and smiles with a woman three or more times in an evening, you have received a clear signal that she's interested. Make your move, head on over and start up a conversation. If you don't, somebody else will.

3) Be a Vampire's Best Friend

One of the most winning flirting techniques a woman can use is the exposure of her neck. This can be done with a head tilt to one side, the classic hair flip, or my personal favorite, the over-the-shoulder glance - the asymmetrical position attracts attention, exposes your neck, and gives you the opportunity to lock eyes. The over-the-shoulder move is extra-effective because it's sexy and it sends a signal to your target that they are worth a second look.

4) Preen Like A Peacock

We tend to preen or groom ourselvessubconsciously when we're attracted to someone, by smoothing down our hair or clothes, checking our lipstick in a compact, or straightening a tie. Try combining a grooming gesture with a smile and a gaze. Another trick? Toss your hair to one side. This classic move is a double whammy that combines preening and a flash of neck. Need we say more?

5) Lip Service

Both men and women are subconsciously attracted to red, moist lips because they signal youth, sex and fertility. How to make the most of it? For women, try wearing a red lipstick (red has been shown to increase a man's heart rate), which not only gives your lips that youthful color, but also makes your smile more visible and your teeth whiter. A super-shiny lip gloss can also give you an advantage, making your lips look moist and kissable. For both men and women, try licking your lips (subtlety is key here, you don't want to look like you're trying out for a porno flick.) or biting your lower lip - both are extremely effective flirting behaviors.

6) Cross Your Legs (Women)

Crossing and uncrossing your legs is another surefire flirting technique, especially if you're wearing high heels. The act of crossing your legs is quite seductive to men, and it makes them desire to see more. Another key seduction trick is slipping your heel out of your shoe and dangling it on your toes. The arch of the foot sends a sexual message and mimics a woman's curves, and sends a man's heart racing.

7) Square Your Shoulders (Men)

Women are biologically attracted to more dominant men, so stand tall with your shoulders back. Feel free to take up some space. For men who are victims of the "nice guy" badge, or who appear to be too submissive to attract women, try taking your Y chromosome out for a spin. According to spatial psychologist Albert Mehrabian, men should "try wearing bulkier or more conservative hairstyles or clothing," hold your head up, and speed up your speech and gestures to be more assertive.

8) Let Your Feet Do The Talking

According to body language expert Wood, you want to make yourself a "safe" (read approachable) target. Wood says "to be very approachable women should stand with their feet no farther than 6 inches apart with toes pointed slightly inward. "
For men, appearing more dominant effectively draws female attention. To attract women, stand with your feet 6-10 inches apart, and your toes pointing outward.

9) Be a Mimic

People mirror each other's body language when they are attracted with similar gestures, voice volume, etc. Try subtly mimicking your flirting target's behavior. If she leans forward, you lean forward. If he scratches his head, you scratch your head. If you are mirroring someone's behavior, they'll begin to feel as though the two of you are connected and "in tune."

10) Focus, Focus, Focus.

Once you and your flirting target have started talking, use these tips to deepen the attraction. First, smile and maintain eye contact as they are speaking, and focus all of your attention on what they are saying. There is rarely anyone more attractive than someone who finds you utterly fascinating. Other key moves, the nod and the head tilt - signal you're listening to what the other person has to say. Smiling and laughing are crucial here - it's the quickest, easiest way to put another person at ease and make a connection. Finally, another effective flirting technique is low-level touching such as brushing the shoulder or elbow.

How to tell if a woman is flirting with you? Look for the signs above, especially extended eye contact, low-level touching and laughing.

How to tell if a guy is flirting with you? Again, the signs above are fantastic indicators, but men tend to take things a little further by demonstrating their social status with moves that can include, flashing cash and talking about their occupations and (you guessed it) cars.

Lisa Daily is the author of Stop Getting Dumped! All you need to know to make men fall madly in love with you and marry "The One" in 3 years or less. At bookstores everywhere. As seen in/on Cosmopolitan, Men's Health and Ricki Lake Get our FREE dating tips newsletter - chock-full of man-snagging techniques - at ╘ 2002 by Lisa Daily. All rights reserved.

Sunday, May 22, 2005

How to know whether she likes me - For Males

Do you know HOW to flirt?

Do you know if you ARE flirting (could you be accidentally flirting)?

The following actions are considered to be REAL flirting indicators - check them out and see if you're sending (and receiving) the right message:

How to tell she likes you:

She gazes in your eyes with deep interest and her pupils are dilated. Her skin tone becomes red while being around you.
Her crossed leg is pointed towards you or if that same leg is rocking back and forth towards you. She raises or lowers the volume of her voice to match yours. She rubs her chin or touches her cheek. This indicates that she's thinking about you and her relating in some way... She winks at you while talking to you or winks at you from a distance. She exposes the palms of her hand facing you.

Biting of the lips or showing of the tongue, licking her lips or touching of her front teeth....

She starts sitting straight up and her muscles appear to be firm. She puts her fingernail between her teeth. She laughs in unison with you. She touches your arm, shoulder, thigh, or hand while talking to you. Plays with her jewelry, especially with stroking and pulling motions.

She twirls her hair around her fingers while she is looking at you.

Eyebrows raised and then lowered, then a smile usually indicates interest in you. While talking to you, she rest an elbow in the palm of one hand, while holding out her other hand, palm up. In a crowd she speaks only to you and focuses all of her undivided attention on you. While talking to you, she blinks more than usual, fluttering her eyelashes.

Big smiles with upper and lower teeth showing with a relaxed face.

She speeds up or slows down her speaking to match yours. She rubs her wrists up and down.
More tips are coming !!! Keep visiting this blog for newer dating tips with changing times and newer flirting ideas: You can also visit free dating sites like

Start flirting !!

For Females:

Usually the first contact made with a "Potentially Interesting Person" (from this point forward they will be referred to as "PIPs") is eye contact. There are a few different types of eye contact.There is the "Across the Room" eye contact, the "In Passing" eye contact (when a PIP is passing by you) and the all-important "Conversational" eye contact. Each is different in many respects, but similar in that they are all ways of sneaking in communication without words.

In order for that contact to have the desired impact, it must be delivered well. It is fun and easy when you know how. Perfecting this ability will be incredibly useful for you in meeting and attracting quality men! So you're at the 7-Eleven, a restaurant or club, the market or any public place where you see a PIP. How do you get from hmmm?. . . TO HIM! Often in these situations, you'll need to make eye contact before a conversation can begin.When making this kind of eye contact, remember that you are trying to convey a message with your eyes. People have told me that they are no good at eye-contact flirting because they always end up looking away - when really, this action is in fact conveying the desired message.

Think about it. If a man stares at you and when you look back at him he doesn't end up looking away, you feel uncomfortable and intimidated - more like you're being stalked than flirted with! A man will also feel uncomfortable if a woman overstays her gaze.

The ideal "Across the Room" eye-contact flirt only makes contact for two or three seconds, and then shyly, must turn away. Usually this will make you smile, which is again a perfect communication - friendly and pleasant. It shows you're happy that he looked back and showed interest in you. Even blushing works in your favor, so don't try to hide it. In these ways, you are using your nervous energy to your advantage. It's important that you let him catch you looking back at him. Subconsciously, this tells him you are interested. If he doesn't catch you looking back at him, he may decide you are not interested. Then he may not be able to get up the nerve to come over and start a conversation with you.

Side note: If he's looking at you when you look back at him, that's a pretty good sign he is interested in you. If he isn't looking at you, that's not necessarily a sign that he's not interested in you. In a situation where you have the time, this entire sequence of looking, looking away and looking back, should repeat itself a few times before you move forward. This kind of eye-contact flirting is most effective in a restaurant, club, or in line at an amusement park or the DMV. Use it in any situation where you and the PIP are going to be in the same place for a while.

GIRLS only!!!

How to tell if he likes you (and if he's flirting with you in his special own guy-way).
A lot depends on the type of guy and his individual personality.Shy GuysThese are tough to crack sometimes...
He'll look at you, until you turn around, then boom, he's looking the other way. You may 'feel' like he's watching you - but he's hard to catch at it
He may do something physical - like grab you in a play way, poke you, play with your hair... (Remember when you were really young and the guy you liked punched you or tackled you?)
He may be working really hard to pay attention to you, but doesn't quite know how...
He may ask a friend of yours about you - he'll say it's just for "friend of mine" that wants to know about you. He talks to everybody else - but when you're around he turns silent, or chokes up. You seem to accidentally bump into him a lot of different places.
He may not say a word to you, but he shows up in the same line, at the same movie, etc.
He'll give you a little smile from across the room, but if you get near, he won't look up. Basically - the BIG clue is that his behavior changes when you're around (compared to when he's around his buds or other girls). DEAD Giveaway - when you talk to him he turns red. (Bingo - you can pack that puppy up and take him home...)