Saturday, June 04, 2005
Monday, May 23, 2005
Top Ten Flirting Tips !!
You don't have to look like Jennifer Anniston or Brad Pitt to make the guys (or girls) go gaga.
All you need is your fabulous smile and a few surefire flirting tips like the ones you'll find below to attract the opposite sex like paparazzi to a movie star.
For women, the key is to look approachable enough for men to feel comfortable in taking a risk.
For men, the secret is in showcasing your masculinity. (And no, that doesn't mean adjusting yourself or proving once and for all that you are the Belching King.)
1) Lock Eyes
Lock eyes with the person you're flirting with for a full five to six seconds, then smile and drop your gaze. Don't stare a hole through the guy's forehead for goodness sake, just give him a smoldering come-hither look and look away. Do this at least three times in a ten to fifteen-minute period. Why? Your target needs to know it's them you're flirting with, and eye contact is a universal signal of openness.
Smiling is absolutely the most effective tool in your flirting toolbox. Psychology and body language experts agree that one of the most important things you can do to make yourself more attractive (and approachable) is to smile. Not a giant plastic used car salesman smile, just your normal "I'm having a great time and I'm happy to be here" face will do the trick. According to body language expert Patti Wood, "the smile is the international signal of friendliness." Guys, if you lock eyes and smiles with a woman three or more times in an evening, you have received a clear signal that she's interested. Make your move, head on over and start up a conversation. If you don't, somebody else will.
3) Be a Vampire's Best Friend
One of the most winning flirting techniques a woman can use is the exposure of her neck. This can be done with a head tilt to one side, the classic hair flip, or my personal favorite, the over-the-shoulder glance - the asymmetrical position attracts attention, exposes your neck, and gives you the opportunity to lock eyes. The over-the-shoulder move is extra-effective because it's sexy and it sends a signal to your target that they are worth a second look.
4) Preen Like A Peacock
We tend to preen or groom ourselvessubconsciously when we're attracted to someone, by smoothing down our hair or clothes, checking our lipstick in a compact, or straightening a tie. Try combining a grooming gesture with a smile and a gaze. Another trick? Toss your hair to one side. This classic move is a double whammy that combines preening and a flash of neck. Need we say more?
5) Lip Service
Both men and women are subconsciously attracted to red, moist lips because they signal youth, sex and fertility. How to make the most of it? For women, try wearing a red lipstick (red has been shown to increase a man's heart rate), which not only gives your lips that youthful color, but also makes your smile more visible and your teeth whiter. A super-shiny lip gloss can also give you an advantage, making your lips look moist and kissable. For both men and women, try licking your lips (subtlety is key here, you don't want to look like you're trying out for a porno flick.) or biting your lower lip - both are extremely effective flirting behaviors.
6) Cross Your Legs (Women)
Crossing and uncrossing your legs is another surefire flirting technique, especially if you're wearing high heels. The act of crossing your legs is quite seductive to men, and it makes them desire to see more. Another key seduction trick is slipping your heel out of your shoe and dangling it on your toes. The arch of the foot sends a sexual message and mimics a woman's curves, and sends a man's heart racing.
7) Square Your Shoulders (Men)
Women are biologically attracted to more dominant men, so stand tall with your shoulders back. Feel free to take up some space. For men who are victims of the "nice guy" badge, or who appear to be too submissive to attract women, try taking your Y chromosome out for a spin. According to spatial psychologist Albert Mehrabian, men should "try wearing bulkier or more conservative hairstyles or clothing," hold your head up, and speed up your speech and gestures to be more assertive.
8) Let Your Feet Do The Talking
According to body language expert Wood, you want to make yourself a "safe" (read approachable) target. Wood says "to be very approachable women should stand with their feet no farther than 6 inches apart with toes pointed slightly inward. "
For men, appearing more dominant effectively draws female attention. To attract women, stand with your feet 6-10 inches apart, and your toes pointing outward.
9) Be a Mimic
People mirror each other's body language when they are attracted with similar gestures, voice volume, etc. Try subtly mimicking your flirting target's behavior. If she leans forward, you lean forward. If he scratches his head, you scratch your head. If you are mirroring someone's behavior, they'll begin to feel as though the two of you are connected and "in tune."
10) Focus, Focus, Focus.
Once you and your flirting target have started talking, use these tips to deepen the attraction. First, smile and maintain eye contact as they are speaking, and focus all of your attention on what they are saying. There is rarely anyone more attractive than someone who finds you utterly fascinating. Other key moves, the nod and the head tilt - signal you're listening to what the other person has to say. Smiling and laughing are crucial here - it's the quickest, easiest way to put another person at ease and make a connection. Finally, another effective flirting technique is low-level touching such as brushing the shoulder or elbow.
How to tell if a woman is flirting with you? Look for the signs above, especially extended eye contact, low-level touching and laughing.
How to tell if a guy is flirting with you? Again, the signs above are fantastic indicators, but men tend to take things a little further by demonstrating their social status with moves that can include, flashing cash and talking about their occupations and (you guessed it) cars.
Lisa Daily is the author of Stop Getting Dumped! All you need to know to make men fall madly in love with you and marry "The One" in 3 years or less. At bookstores everywhere. As seen in/on Cosmopolitan, Men's Health and Ricki Lake Get our FREE dating tips newsletter - chock-full of man-snagging techniques - at www.stopgettingdumped.com ╘ 2002 by Lisa Daily. All rights reserved.